so my parents brought me this back from their holiday
i would describe myself as a “stay-at-home dragon”
two days for my eyebrow to disappear #trich
my parents are coming back today after a week away. i’ve spent more time with my brother over the last six days than i ever have in my entire adult life. we’ve hung out playing video games for like, three hours most nights and he even came to the pub with my friends and i on thursday and played pool and darts ‘til midnight! that has never, ever happened. also i think he’s gay so i hope our sibling relationship is still good once my parents (overbearing, smothering mother) get back so i can talk to him about life occasionally. he’s already so much cooler than he was a week ago, bawwwwww.
I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.
..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.
“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”
I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away…
Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”."
Most of the intelligence community doesn’t believe he exists. The ones that do call him the Winter Soldier.
He’s a ghost story.
Bad idea four.